Christmas Week in the Life of an Iowa Mom

Izzy had her bday party at Colonial Lanes this last Saturday 12/20! She turned 9 years old. The whole family was there bowling. It was a lot of fun. Good thing I have been practicing bowling these last few months. I tied for 1st place with a huge score of 100 points.. Haha. My husband and his father tied for last with only 42 points. Izzy beat grandma in put-put golf! I can’t remember what the score was for mini golf though. Haha.

The women’s team lost to UCONN (UCONN is ranked #1 in the country). The score was 90-64. The women’s Hawkeyes are ranked 14th right now.

The men’s basketball team played Bucknell (No clue where they are from. Haha). The men’s hawkeyes basketball team won 94-39. Ouch.

Who is ready for Christmas?? In a few days it’s gonna be Christmas! My kiddos can’t wait, but i always have this feeling like i did not buy them enough or that i forgot something. Bleh. When is Christmas over with? I’m tired of shopping. Haha. What woman ever says that? Haha

I had to work last night at the bowling alley and it was super busy. I have to work Christmas eve too. It seems like every night for the last 2 weeks the bowling ally has been having pot luck’s. Us people from Iowa do love our pot lucks. haha

It looks like the Iowa Football team who is ranked #23 is going to a bowl game this year called ReliaQuest Bowl and they are playing Vanderbilt who is ranked #14. The game is on 12/31/25, New Years Eve. Should be an interesting game, but Iowa has not won any bowl games in the last few years. My husband (who grew up here in Iowa City, IA) never has faith that Iowa will win, but I have faith. I just don't have faith in what I'm gonna cook for the game. Haha. I have no clue.

I forgot to tell you the craziness that happened this last saturday, my husband on his way to work got a flat tire. He did not have any of the tools he needed in the car. So i had to go find him at work. We tried all afternoon to get the lugnuts off, but we could not. So my “smart” husband tried to drive the car home with the flat… The tire went flying off the car and we had to call a tow truck. The tow truck driver showed up and could not get the lug nuts off the wheel either! He was about to tow the Volvo, but I said I would give it a try. I jumped on the lug wrench and got the bolts loosened. Those 2 big fat men could not figure it out but I, skinny Sara Jane, got the lugnuts off on the 1st try. We had a good laugh about it and I made fun of my husband and the tow truck driver. The tow truck driver was embarrassed enough that he did not charge us for anything! Woohoo! At least we got our Volvo home. The car is 25 years old now. I think she (the car) can be classified as a classic car now for a museum. Haha.

I think this is about everything that happened this last week. I wish everybody a merry Christmas.. Or whatever holiday you celebrate. I hope everybody had a good year. This was our 1st year writing our blog, The Orbit Report. Also we started Torus Coffee Company!... and yes, this next year we will have coffee for sale. Haha. Have a good, happy holiday!

Who likes the treadmill in the winter? Nobody. I don’t, but im still getting my walks done.

Stay curious. Stay crunchy. Stay cosmic. — Sara Jane Shelvock, CEO, Torus Coffee Company LLC ________________ by Sara Jane Shelvock, CEO, Torus Coffee Company LLC If you’ve ever wondered what life as an Iowa mom looks like during Christmas week, let me offer a field report. It involves bowling shoes, emotional sports damage, potluck casseroles of unknown origin, aggressive holiday scheduling, and one roadside moment of physical dominance that will absolutely be mentioned at future family gatherings. This was one of those weeks. The kind where everything happens at once, everyone needs something immediately, and the calendar looks like it was assembled by someone actively opposed to rest. So grab a coffee, a freeze-dried snack, or whatever is keeping you upright today. This is your official dispatch from Christmas week in the life of an Iowa mom. ________________ Birthday Parties, Bowling Balls, and the Competitive Spirit of a 9-Year-Old We kicked things off with Izzy’s 9th birthday party at Colonial Lanes last Saturday, December 20th. The entire family showed up to bowl, which is always exciting and mildly dangerous depending on footwear choices and emotional investment. Now listen. I have been practicing bowling for months. This was my moment. And shine I did. I tied for first place with an absolutely dominant score of 100 points. Yes. One hundred. Please hold your applause and any professional scouting inquiries. Meanwhile, my husband and his father tied for last place with a score of 42, which I believe qualifies as spiritually challenging. Izzy herself bowled like a champ and then went on to defeat Grandma at mini-golf, a victory she will carry with her forever. I don’t remember the exact score, but I remember Grandma’s face, and honestly that’s what matters. This is life as an Iowa mom. We celebrate birthdays with bowling balls, competitive mini-golf, and just enough chaos to permanently cement the memory. ________________ Hawkeye Sports: Emotional Whiplash, Holiday Edition Because it would not be Christmas week in Iowa without sports-induced emotional turbulence, we once again gathered around the TV to experience the full range of human feelings in a very short window of time. Also yes, birthdays happened. Kids have those every year. They’ll survive. Let’s talk about basketball. First up, women’s Hawkeye basketball vs. UCONN. UCONN is ranked number one in the entire country. Iowa is ranked fourteen. That’s like challenging Beyoncé to a karaoke battle and then acting surprised when it goes sideways. The final score was 90 to 64, which landed exactly where my emotional expectations lived, while still allowing space for unreasonable hope. I watched curled up on the couch, yelling classic Iowa mom encouragements like: * “That was a good effort!” * “You’ll get the next one!” * “Defense! DEFENSE!” * “Wow she’s fast. Why is she so fast?” At one point I said out loud to no one in particular, “Well, at least we’re trying,” which is basically the Iowa mom version of a motivational speech. Despite the loss, the women played hard and stayed scrappy, reminding me why Hawkeye sports are stitched into life as an Iowa mom. We show up. We care. We yell. We snack aggressively. Then came the men’s game against Bucknell. I do not know where Bucknell is. I did not Google it. I choose to believe it exists solely to provide Iowa with a confidence boost before the holidays. Iowa won 94 to 39, which felt less like a basketball game and more like when your kid switches a video game to easy mode just to feel something again. Even my husband looked impressed, and that man is emotionally reserved when it comes to Iowa sports. He nodded once, said “Huh,” and returned to pretending not to watch while clearly watching. And then there’s Iowa football. The Hawkeyes are ranked 23 and heading to the ReliaQuest Bowl on New Year’s Eve to play Vanderbilt, who are ranked 14. This has triggered what I like to call our annual Bowl Game Hope Spiral. My husband, born and raised in Iowa City, has no faith. None. He has been hurt before. Many times. He says things like: * “They’ll probably lose.” * “I’m not getting my hopes up.” * “I’ve seen this movie.” Meanwhile, I’m over here saying, “But what if they don’t?” This is life as an Iowa mom during bowl season. One of us believes. One of us prepares for disappointment. We both watch anyway. I am genuinely excited to watch the game on New Year’s Eve. There’s something deeply Midwestern about ringing in the new year with football, snacks, and cautious optimism. What I am not excited about is the food situation. I have no menu. No plan. No vision. Just vibes and a vague thought about chips. Faith in the team? Yes. Faith in myself to produce a cohesive game-day spread? Absolutely not. ________________ Christmas Is Approaching and I Am Not Ready in Any Measurable Way Christmas is days away, and my kids are vibrating with excitement like they’ve been lightly electrocuted by holiday cheer. Me? I’m wandering the house with a constant low-grade panic that I forgot something important. Something crucial. Something that will reveal itself at the worst possible moment. Did I buy enough presents? Did I buy too many presents? Did I forget batteries? Did I accidentally buy the same thing twice but in a different color and now I’m pretending it was intentional? I keep making lists and losing the lists. I keep opening my phone to order “one last thing” and immediately forgetting what that thing was. I am tired of shopping, which feels illegal to admit in December, especially as a woman. But here we are. Spiritually exhausted. Financially confused. Surrounded by cardboard boxes. This is life as an Iowa mom during Christmas. You’re running entirely on coffee, vibes, and the hope that no one notices you’re improvising. Meanwhile, holiday obligations are happening constantly. There is no pause. Just lights, schedules, and events that sound optional but somehow are not. Every day feels like it should come with a permission slip and a casserole. And speaking of casseroles. For the last two weeks, my life has been one continuous potluck. Work potlucks. Bowling potlucks. Accidental potlucks where everyone brought food “just in case.” Iowa does not simply eat during the holidays. We assemble. We contribute. We judge silently while smiling politely. I worked at the bowling alley again this week, and it was busy in that festive way where every lane is full and every table holds at least three crockpots and one dessert no one can identify. I also work Christmas Eve, because apparently bowling is a holiday activity and not just something we do to avoid our feelings. Bowling alley holidays are their own ecosystem. Food everywhere. Laughter. Chaos. One person who brought something incredible. One person who brought something experimental. It’s beautiful. It’s alarming. It’s very Iowa. ________________ The Flat Tire Incident, or How Absolutely No One Was Prepared for This Right when I thought, “At least nothing else weird happened this week,” the universe said, “Hold my beer.” My husband got a flat tire on his way to work. Not a slow leak. Not a “we’ll deal with it later” situation. A full, dramatic, undeniable flat tire. Did he have tools in the car? No. None. Zero. So I went to find him, which already felt like the opening scene of a low-budget holiday disaster movie. We spent the afternoon standing around the car, staring at it, poking the wheel, and taking turns attacking the lug nuts like maybe they would respond better to a different emotional approach. They did not. Different angles. Different amounts of force. Different vibes. Nothing. At some point, my husband made what I can only describe as a bold decision. He decided he could drive the car home with the flat. I want to be very clear that I did not agree with this plan. I did not endorse it. I simply witnessed it unfolding. Friends. The tire flew off. Not loosened. Not gently rolled away. Fully departed the vehicle like it had clocked out early. Cue the tow truck. The driver arrived with confident energy. Big guy. Clearly experienced. He took one look and said something like, “Yeah, no problem.” Narrator voice: It was a problem. He tried. He pulled. He frowned. Those lug nuts did not move. Now we have my husband, confused but hopeful. A tow truck driver, visibly irritated. And me, standing quietly, observing. Finally, the tow truck driver said he’d have to tow the car. That’s when I said, calmly, “Let me try.” I jumped on the lug wrench and loosened the bolts immediately. First try. No hesitation. Just pop, pop, pop. Two grown men. One skinny Iowa mom. Guess who won. The silence afterward was spiritual. The tow truck driver didn’t charge us. My husband looked at me like he had just learned new information. We got the car home, and our 25-year-old Volvo officially earned her status as a classic. Possibly a museum exhibit. Definitely a survivor. This moment will live forever in the highlight reel of life as an Iowa mom. Not because it was graceful or planned, but because somehow, in the middle of holiday chaos, I became the hero of a roadside crisis armed with nothing but a lug wrench and quiet confidence. ________________ Final Thoughts From Christmas Week in the Midwest This past week was a perfect snapshot of life as an Iowa mom. Birthdays at bowling alleys. Sports wins and losses. Holiday exhaustion. Potlucks everywhere. Flat tires. Old cars. Big feelings. Bigger laughs. This was our first year writing The Orbit Report, and it was also the year we started Torus Coffee Company. And yes, next year we will finally have coffee for sale. Thank you for reading, laughing with me, and following along as we navigate Midwest winters, family life, and small business dreams. I wish you a Merry Christmas, or whatever holiday you celebrate, and a warm end to the year. Stay curious. Stay crunchy. Stay cosmic. — Sara Jane Shelvock, CEO, Torus Coffee Company LLC